can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
