First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
