But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He felt like a one man threesome
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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