I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
