Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
operation harelip BJ is a go
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
