god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
