I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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