Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
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