walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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