May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
