it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
