I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
