Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
