I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
