that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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