the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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