I CAN MOONWALK!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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