You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
