so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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