i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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