Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize