chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
