Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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