Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
