He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
