Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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