why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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