I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize