i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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