My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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