i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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