Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
