Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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