rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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