where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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