Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
