I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
