I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
