wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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