There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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