So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize