I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
