i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
