matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
