Whatcha textin bout Willis?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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