wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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