If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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