Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
