There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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