you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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