I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize