listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
