sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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