why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
