she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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