it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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