My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
