she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
