tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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